Facebook the 10 year Reunion of the 21st Century

As I laid by the pool this afternoon catching up on my tanning and thinking about a whole lot of nothing I realized that I am getting old and that a true sign of that is my 10 year high school reunion will be next year. Ten years! F*ck where has the time gone, have I really become an adult where not so long a go my biggest concern was what friend was coming over to hang out.
Over the years my friends and I have debated going to our ten year reunion. There are a group of about 5 of us that have stayed super close since high school and everyone else has seemed to fade.
People that, at the time I enjoyed talking to, drinking with, and trying to go on a date with but does that mean I really want to see them now. And furthermore do I want to actually have to talk with them and listen to their endless dribble about a life I know nothing of and frankly don't care about.
I want to go for the reasons why everyone else wants to go. I want to snoop. I want the gossip. I want all the goods without all the chit-chat See who has improved since high school and who hasn't, who has become a loser and who, against all odds made it big.
As I was thinking about these things I realized I have already attended my high school reunion and even better I didn't have talk to any of them to find out the gossip I wanted. All I had to do was look them up on facebook, ask to be their friend, wait for them to say yes (everyone says yes) and viola instant reuion. Facbook gives you all the information that you want at a reuion. Pictures of them as the ten years have either given them money to get plastic surgery or shown that yes metabolism slows and they have have gained weight. It gives you that one vital stastic, single or in a relationship. It tells you some other things you may care about job, interests, and most importantl the wall where you can read all their posts from their real frinds to get the dirt on their lives without ever having to talk to them ONCE!!! Also you can see their friends which is a gold mind for other ex high school buddies you also want to snoop on. Now if you really want to maxamize it get together with the friends from high school you actually see and care about and swap usernames and passwords so you can see exponentialy more old acquaintences without bweing one of those freaky people with like 1,000 friends.
Thak you Facebook. With you I can go to my high school reunion in my jamies and unwashed hair, learn the gossip on everyone withoth ever having to open my mouth and the best part call my real high school friends and gossip in person to them about the LOSERS our high school acquaintences became.